


Ache

by Cauliflower_steaks



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Cheating, Extreme angst, F/M, Ghost Sex, Hallucinations, Hints of Edeleth if you squint, Psychosis, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:28:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21746794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cauliflower_steaks/pseuds/Cauliflower_steaks
Summary: Dimitri returns home after a long day, only to find an unexpected visitor waiting for him.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Comments: 6
Kudos: 76





	Ache

For Dimitri, winter is the hardest season. It’s not the cold -he’s used to that. Rather, it's the lack of sunshine. Most days he hardly gets a glimpse at the sun - he rises before daybreak, works in his office until late, and by the time he comes back to their quarters, it’s already dark again. He’s pulled a particularly long stint tonight, skipping dinner and returning home at almost midnight.

He’s regretting it now - the longer he spends by himself, the worse the hallucinations become. The voices are steadily growing louder, following him down the empty corridor as he makes his way to the bedroom. Byleth was right, of course- the voices wouldn’t disappear after the war. It was something he had to work on by himself. But after a long day of expending mental energy on delegations and paperwork, he hardly has the energy to fight them off.

Despite it all, if there was one thing that gave him peace, it was being close to Byleth. Though they’ve been married for the best part of two years, he still feels elation rising in his chest at the thought of coming home to her. 

‘Sorry I’m back so late.’ He enters the room, finding it dark save for a few dimming candles. His eyesight has diminished to the point where he can’t actually see Byleth in the room from where he’s standing, but the fact that the candles are lit is a good enough indication that she’s there. She says nothing, though. Is she angry with him? He swallows as he takes off his coat and hangs it on the back of a chair. 

‘There you are. Why did you keep me waiting?’

That voice cuts through the chorus that swelling in his head, warm and familiar. It doesn’t _really_ sound like Byleth though, but he finds he often perceives things like that slightly strangely. He moves closer to the bed, unbuttoning his dress shirt as he goes, eventually sitting with his back to her as he removes his boots and trousers.

‘Sorry, love. You know how busy it can get.’

‘Don’t give me that.’

He turns around tentatively at that remark. Byleth would never normally say something like that- she must be angry with him. He starts apologizing before he even meets her gaze.

‘I am terribly sorry Byleth, I didn’t know you were waiting up for m-’ he’s stopped in his tracks when he meets a pair of lilac eyes peering at him from Byleth’s side of the bed. The light of the candle is reflected in them, glinting in her irises. He jolts out of his seat in an instant.

_It’s not her. Don’t believe it. You killed her, you watched her die. It’s not her._

His mind is in a frenzy, trying to gather his own thoughts amongst six different voices screaming at him at once. He leans closer, closes his eyes, and then opens them again. She’s still there. Her hair is that mousy brown that it was when he first met her, but she’s definitely the same age as him, though she looks far less hardened by time than the Edelgard that he knew a few years ago. She looks real, real enough to reach out and touch, but he knows she’ll disappear as soon as he tries.

‘El?’ he offers, looking for confirmation that it is indeed her that’s occupying his bed.

‘Who else would it be?’

His mouth is dry. She turns to him and flips over the covers on his side of the bed, inviting him to lay beside her. ‘I’m getting cold.’

He’s shaking. He doesn’t want to get close just to watch her dissipate into thin air. Edelgard has visited him a few times, as a voice or as a vision, but she’s never like this. She doesn’t _look_ like this, for one thing. She’s normally silver-haired and clad in red, spitting venomous insults at him through gritted teeth. This Edelgard… is El. His El. The El he wishes he could have known. 

He slips beneath the covers, aware of his current state of undress, and lies stiffly on his back against the cold mattress. 

‘Do I have to spell it out for you, Dima?’ she says. He turns to her, a cold shiver running down his spine at the sound of that nickname. She’s smiling, and her words are warm. She’s beautiful. 

‘If I touch you, won’t you disappear?’ He asks, half afraid of finding an answer.

‘Don’t be silly. I’m not going anywhere.’ Her entire body, save for her face, is covered by the duvet. He wants to reach for her arm, somewhere less intimate than her cheek, so he slowly rises from where he’s lying and peels the covers back. He watches her smile turn sly as he does so, and then his head snaps up and his face turns red. She’s completely naked. Her long, straight hair reaches her breasts, covering her nipples. She’s as pale as he remembers, and she shifts her hips seductively as he takes her in. His cock twitches.

He slowly places his hand on the center of her chest. She’s warm and solid to the touch, but there’s no heartbeat. S _he must be back from the dead._

That one touch was enough to stir something inside of him. He knows something is deeply, terribly wrong, but he finds it hard to find space in his own head to think at the best of times; the desire creeping further up his spine with every passing moment doesn't help matters. It doesn’t take long for him to collapse on top of her, enveloping her soft lips in hungry kisses, biting and sucking them until they turn crimson. 

Her skin is soft and mostly devoid of scars, suggesting a life spent much more comfortably than the one she had really known. Her body is different too, at least from how he’d imagined it. Her breasts are modest but plump and pert, each one a perfect handful. Her thighs are soft and pillowy when he slips his hands between them, and though there’s still muscle evident on her upper arms and calves, she even has a little bit of a belly.

He runs his hands over her body, buries his nose against her neck, bites and kisses her shoulder. He quivers as he touches her, feeling the way her hips curve out and then back in again, the folds of her stomach as she wraps her legs around his waist. He has no idea where she came from, or how she feels this real - and God, does she feel real, she's searingly hot under his hands, his fingers damp and drenched in her scent. He slips them in and out of her, and she moans his name over and over in response. His heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest.

Their movements are hazy and fluid, and somehow she’s on top of him now, grinding herself against his still-clothed dick. His hands find her hips, and then her ass, fingers digging in deep enough to leave bruises. Her hands grip his shoulders, moving down towards his chest, fondling him for a moment before dragging her nails sharp against his skin. 

‘I hate how you always make me wait,’ she says, her voice impatient but fond, now lying on her stomach, the curve of her back enticing him even further. ‘just put it inside me.’

Dimitri groans in arousal at the sound of those words on her lips. He wastes no time in fulfilling her request, quickly pulling his underwear off and pushing the head of his cock to her entrance. She’s wet, but still tight, so he has to take his time. He enters her slowly and carefully from behind, his hands steadying her hips in position. 

‘Hurry up, I can’t-’ she gasps, just as Dimitri had eased his shaft halfway inside her. 

He doesn’t allow her to finish that sentence, pushing himself fully inside her once her need registered in his mind. It earns him a loud moan from El.

‘Yes, like that,’ she tells him, and though it’s a demand, her voice is pillowy and breathless. 

He follows, fucking her with long, deep strokes, slowly pulling his cock almost all of the way out only to dive back into her all at once. They stay like that, El on her hands and knees, raising her hips up to meet Dimitri’s thrusts. Her hands grip the bedsheets and she calls his name in ecstasy- it's enough to make him feel light-headed. They keep going, the intensity rising until they’re ravenous, Dimitri draped over her and licking her neck and ear- anything to fill the need to be close to her. 

He needs her lips too much. He pulls out fully, and El gasps and groans at the sudden emptiness. He flips her over as fast as he can, and she raises her knees to her chest, exposing her pussy to him. His mouth almost waters at that sight, but he knows what she wants - that will just have to wait until another time. He places her feet on his shoulders and lowers himself into her. The position change has made it feel even better than it did before, and by the time he’s fully inside her, he’s seeing stars. He reckons El is too, given the way she’s pulling his hair and biting his lips, tears of pleasure pricking at the corners of her eyes. 

He fucks her hard, not paying attention to his method anymore. They kiss throughout, wet and breathless, and he thinks he’ll never get the taste of her out of his mouth. He curses his strained vision, despairing when she slips out of focus in the dark of the night, but rejoicing when she comes back to him.

Their hands roam each other’s bodies, El sinking her nails deep into his skin and drawing upwards, and then ghosting her hands gently over the scrapes to soothe. Dimitri squeezes her breasts, drawing himself away from her mouth to circle her nipples with his tongue until she grabs a fistful of hair and pulls him back to her neck.

He can hardly see anything now, can only feel her around him, enveloping all of him in her warmth. El slips a finger between her thighs and circles her clit with fast and frenzied motions until she’s quivering underneath him, calling his name and biting his shoulder in ecstasy. He keeps pumping her until her orgasm is finished, then buries his nose in the nape of her neck, losing himself in her scent.

His thrusts lose rhythm, and he can’t see anything anymore, reality and fantasy melting together in the warmth of her embrace. He cums inside her, moaning her name and kissing her anywhere his mouth can find. 

He loses his stamina after a while, lying with her pressed against his chest, a strange combination of paranoia and sadness settling over him. He tries to will it away with soft words, stroking her hair and whispering her name over and over, more to himself than to her.

_El, El, El, El, El._

Try as he might, anxiety begins to rise in his stomach, making his skin itch and his jaw clench. He winds his fingers in her hair, his heart beating erratically. He looks down, only to find seafoam green between his fingers instead of brown.

Byleth. It was Byleth the entire time. 

He recoils from her in shame, a sob building in his chest as the reality of what he has just done hits him. He can’t bring himself to look at her. He’s hurt her, in the most painful way imaginable, after swearing that he would never hurt her again. 

Her hand is squeezing his shoulder, and she’s saying something to him, but he can’t hear it for the ringing in his ears. Eventually, she entwines her hand in his, and despite all of the pain, the touch still gives him comfort.

‘It’s okay,’ she whispers, over and over, her thumb stroking his hand affectionately. He doesn’t deserve her. He doesn’t deserve anything.

Eventually, she coaxes him into looking at her, her hands on his face. 

‘It’s alright. I understand.’ She pauses, her eyes sad. I miss her too.’


End file.
